Pesky Kids

Dear Scooby-Doo,

 

Where are you?

 

Come to think of it, where am I? And where’s Alaska?

 

I haven’t seen you in ages now – not even reruns. At least I follow the practices of the people not in America: I get someone to pretend to be me at the weekends. That way I get a few extra days off work – good practice for my time in the Pink House (I’ll be changing the color soon). Scruffy doesn’t even look like you, so don’t even go there!

 

About me: I’ve found myself on some mystery tour, heading to a mystery, dark, spooky place with lots of ghosts & goblins. But don’t be scared – we can unmask these evils for what they are.

 

Oooh, I’m going off in circles again Scooby – I was wondering about where you were. You seem, somewhat like me, to have PALed Into Nothing these days. I was wondering if you could help me on this Mystery Tour I’m travelling on Scooby? (I have called 555 ATEAM, but I keep getting a voicemail telling me I’m a fool, so I’m writing to you for help now.)

 

Let me fill you in on the details: I hear you’re familiar with those pesky things that are causing me issues, and Hussie is on a covert mission to hire Magnum PI, so I was hoping you could help me.

What Magnum might realise is that I recently fiddled my expenses! Hey, it happens; don’t judge me – in Alaska, people aren’t told anything, so I could get away with it. But with my lower profile now, I fear even Magnum might find out.

 

All I done was drag a few little people along on a few foreign trips (in my job, I do a lot of those –  to places as far, far away as America – but I’ve only often taken the little people, so no real harm done). Thing is, being the President of the World, people want to check my expenses. Naturally, I’ve changed them now – the little people, and the expenses. But the expenses were lego... legit... leggit... ultimate.... fair... They were good costs: one little person was charged with messing my hair up, and the other was there to help me – they drew a raffle ticket out.

 

Sure, they had hotel rooms for days & days. Who would ask questions though? Who could possibly see through the mask? I’m a pit-bull under this mask, so Shaggy should have run by now, and I know Velma is jealous of Freddie – both having a thing with Daphne – so they wouldn’t waste time on little me.

If it wasn’t for Magnum & those pesky kids, I would have got away with this, and never been unmasked!

 

 

Can’t wait to see you & get a Shag in doggie pose.

 

SPINE

 

Posthumous Scab: plenty of Scooby snacks in this if you can help. They’re moose* flavour.

 

*really my excrement, but as we’re both cartoons, we don’t notice the difference.