Dear W, 13 Oct 08

Dear W,

Apart from your library, which will be entertaining for most, but (well, if you were capable of the emotion) embarrassing for you, your legacy is, and always will be, shot to pieces. Not just on the front lines of the Middle East, but also in the Rose Garden of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, and that place in Texas you've spent most of your last 8 years.

Instead, why don't you do yourself a favour (and one for Hippie at the same time): give yourself more time to fix this world. Just change the constitution, postponing the election & inauguration for a week. I'm sure that's all the extra time the global banking crisis needs, and you can use the new space in your diary to sort out Israel & Palestine, and maybe even get those Syrians to jump on board. You could even show you're better than that dude Blair then - remember him? No, no-one else does either. Which is why this is so important for your place in history!

I know some of your countrymen will object, and argue it's unconstitutional, but hey, we haven't heard from Cheney for a while. You can't replace a rottweiler with a lipstick-bulldog without some loss of security, so just like with that space on the blot of land just SE (that means go downwards - look at the houses and count the numbers backwards, 1600,  1598, 1596... - and then turn to the right) of Florida, leave Dick to explain to the world that the constitution can be ignored in times of national crisis. And a W without a useful library or legacy is nearly as much a crisis as the last 8 years - with a W without a brain.

Go on man, be brave, you compromised on $700000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000, settling at something like $699999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999.98c worth of new credit cards for your countrymen to spend in the malls. Now demand those bullies in that big-tit building up the road repay your compromise, and adjourn your succession. (In fairness, you won't even notice the difference: you'll already be on holiday (oops, I do beg your pardon Mr President, a working-from-home vacation), so no loss for you at all.)

Your fondest admirer*, 


Hippie


*ignore those skeptics - I had a piece of pretzel stuck in my cheek, it wasn't my tongue at all!