ED, How dare you?

Dear Eddie of Alaskan Democrat Nonsense,

 

Don’t you know who I am? I’m your hot-diggy-dog, moose-looking, poisoned Governess, Queen of Shite & a much colder place than Narnia; I'm the original & best White_Witch.

How dare you support anyone other me? And how dare you suggest that the election, after all is said and done, is not about me? You claim that, in your sober view, my flat mate Johnnie is the wrong choice for Cheer-Leader president at this critical time for our hockey team. Sounds like you’ve drank all of Hippie’s beer, and are not sober at all!

There has been a lot of attention about my clothes recently. Well, let me explain that: I’m sometimes a working Governess & mom (when I take my kids on trips all over the world), not earning anything close to a Sentry person, so if someone left bags of clothes on my doorstep, I’m damn-well going to wear them, and who cares about the criticism? I didn’t buy the clothes; doggy-dog-dog-mustn’t swear now-dog-darn-doh, and I don’t even know where the shop Cereal is – I thought it was actually an alternative to moose-spleen soup, not a shop!

You only need to see my comments to see why I should be elected – W has 85 days left, and then the calendars will be of a bare, blue plastic frame. Our country needs someone like me to contribute to our literate calendars.

 

“I see our country being able to represent those things as it's been proposed and we must not blink.” (Did you blink? Did you notice I changed my hair in that time? Hee, hee, hee. What fun.)

“But no, the Pakistani people who are hell bent of the evil in the world.” (Sounds like the ADN have joined that movement now. Shame on you.)

"It's very important when you consider even Johnnie [real names may have been substituted for fear of association] and I have both been discussing so we don't have to be takers from federal government. " (That excludes taking things for my wardrobe of course. Or holidays for the family. Or anything else I could get away with, if not for the pesky kids.)

 “It's very important when you consider even these central fronts on the war on terror, but look at my hair” (my hair is so popular, sales of it are regenerating the economy – before I even got elected. Just wait to see what more I can do...)

 

“It has been overwhelming to me that confirmation of as it's been proposed is the undo influence of lobbyists in public policy decisions being made.” (Did I really say that? Well, if you don’t know what it means, I’m on your level too.)

 

You really must have an Alaskan_Delight. Like me, they’re flavoured with rosewater and lemon, the former giving me a characteristic pale pink color. And like me, it has a soft, jelly-like and sometimes sticky consistency, and, like I should be, is often packaged and eaten in small cubes that are dusted with icing sugar or copra to prevent sticking. Some types contain small nut pieces; I am just small and plain nuts!

 

Yours spittingly,

 

SPINE