Bloody Alter egos

Ok, no idea how or when it happened, but Hippie's alter ego took him over recently. Hippie only knew about this when Hippie returned to being Hippie; slightly damp patch of hair, but no other indication anything happened - well, some small indication, but that's covered below.

Hippie's washing machine improved in its performance recently: 5 minutes for a whole laundry cycle!

Yes, Hippie knows you would love a machine like that too; very quick & efficient... only this super performance came with one small issue: the machine filled with water, gurgled twice, emptied the water, and was done.

Laundry was a lot wetter than when it went in or typically was, and looked rather snotty too - the detergent lingered on the laundry - but if you consider the laundry was wet & introduced to soap, and therefore it was washed, all very efficient.

Some sort of misunderstanding with the retailer of washing machines meant the old machine had to be removed from its residence - as in the pipes that are hidden away from regular people, sitting in their concealed place that if they were female & in a public place in France they would be illegal for concealing themselves (why France would make it illegal to be a washing machine part & not be allowed to be concealed is beyond Hippie, but then so much about that place is) - before being taken away.

To confuse the issue further, the new machine was unpacked only in part (some parts needed to be removed with some sort of "tool" [what is that thing in the picture?] that doesn't come with the machine), but not installed. What were all those extra costs for, if not to install the bloody thing? Hippie can barely turn a faucet on, let alone plug a washing machine in!

Well, Hippie returned to his body this afternoon, and while finding a patch of hair slightly damp (there appears to have been a small discharge of water sprayed where the machine's water pipe connects to the mains when the pipes (or whatever the bloody parlance is for connecting pipes) weren't properly tightened, so perhaps this is could be the cause), Hippie otherwise has a new washing machine installed.

No idea how the old one was disconnected without flooding Hippie's house; no idea how the new one was installed without flooding Hippie's neighbourhood; it just happened, with no involvement or voluntary activity from Hippie, just Hippie's alter ego.

Hippie is going to drink some (more) beer now, not for Hippie's pleasure though, just to thank his alter ego. (And if Hippie's alter ego subscribes to this blog, cheers from Hippie.)

Oops, wrong blog/twig

Hippie had fajitas for dinner.

Just to let you all know, because twits really care about these things.

As Hippie can post twigs, Hippie can even tell you Hippie had green peppers, tomatoes [decide how you want to pronounce that, the spelling remains the same], baby lettuce, a few cheeses, oh, and lots of other good stuff - including a huge pile of chicken slices prepared in various ways, salsa, sour cream... and there was more on the table, but Hippie can't remember everything.

Oh, hold on, Hippie should have run out of room by now. (No, not due to the food - there was a lot of it though) - but the characters: isn't Hippie meant to tell you about dinner in less than 140 milliseconds, as you'll get bored after that?

Ok, dinner was good.

Hippie

p.s. follow Hippie @hippiewhatthehellisthisthingaboutthatIcan'tevenhavethisusernamewithoutusingupallmycharacters#hippieisms?andpeopleusethis?!? Ok, “Dinner was fab”. Oops, said too much, I’ve said enough...

It's all Black & White Now

Hello,

Long time, I know. Hippie has been very busy, but still always thrives to get back here. Will continue trying.

For now, only a quick entry I thought I would share...

Mrs Hippie often shares deodorant with Hippie (this typically happens when Hippie runs out, but Hippie can't be blamed for that).

Unfortunately, with a busy weekend now behind us, even Mrs Hippie (helped no doubt by others, who shall remain nameless) had run out of that fragrance-in-a-can-stuff that ensures we don't smell naturally. (Do we ever fuss about BO during sex? Does it ever put us off that intense moment of passion? Why then do we take such offence to it when encountering someone in a meeting, on public transport, or anywhere else? Odd! We appear to have people smell like the stuff we polish our floors with, instead of their own natural (and certainly at times, it's considered sweet, perfume) tickle on the nasal passages, even if the unnatural is more likely to cause the occasional sneeze).

Well anyway, I digress. And to be honest, who wants to read a blog entry about the pros & cons of deodorant? (If not you, Hippie suggests you click an advert as you won't like this entry!)

Mrs Hippie was out today, and managed to pick up a can of deodorant that she described as being "for both of us". Works for me, a practical option having less cans of spray around.

But I was pleasantly surprised to find out just how much it was "for both of us": Nivea invisible "for Black & White"!

Never knew they had different deodorants for the races, but certainly helpful we can share one with confidence it's for both of us in the Hippie household now.

Hippie

Pick Up a Penguin

Nothing exciting yet with the new UK government, so the security at Ireland's zoo is instead receiving attention today.

Apparently a gang made off with a penguin from Dublin zoo at about 8am this morning. Perhaps they couldn't figure out how to cook it (Hippie's never eaten penguin, but always open to trying something new), or perhaps even pluck it, but either way, it found itself abandoned on the sedate streets of North Dublin. (Ok, they might not have been the sedate streets, but the North side of Dublin does have some nicer areas than the South side, albeit with some streets where caution is still advisable.)

What's fascinating about this apprehension is the Irish idea of security measures: "The penguin went missing this morning at 8am but due to the security measures that are in place at Dublin Zoo and the rapid response of gardai, the penguin was soon recovered and returned." Was this really due to the security measures in place? (the gang did get out of the zoo with a penguin!) and the rapid response of gardai? (it took several hours to find a bird not normally native to the streets of the North side of Dublin) or more to do with the gang not knowing how to keep or cook a penguin? (Hippie thinks so).

Hippie

The Big Question

Ok, so remarkably the UK has a coalition government, with an aim of a five year term. Will be interesting to see how it unfolds & works, and whether it does lead to a change in the way politics is conducted in the future.

Hippie still suspects there could be an election this year, or at least by February next year, but just perhaps this government will manage to command sufficient support to maintain confidence until 2015.

The Big Question though isn't who will get what positions in cabinet, how the parties' supporters & MPs will react, who will lead the Labour Party, or indeed what happens next.

No, the big question (that most journalists probably will duck) is this: did the British Prime Minister, David Cameron, christen his new Downing Street flat last night, and if so, in which room(s)?

Someone Past the Post

What a bloody farce the UK elections are proving to be!

In principal, the system is "first past the post" (the party that gets the most votes) who wins, but in practice the "third past the post" is going to determine who wins... well, probably the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth, collectively keeping out the first (or highest polling) past the post. In other words, the "first past the post" system really means "someone-past-the-post-and-possibly-nearly-everyone-except-first-past-the-post".

It gets more complicated than that too: the first- past-the-post (right-wing Conservatives) & third-past-the-post (left-wing Liberal Democrats) could form a coalition, and give the UK public a secure government for the next two years - the coalition was only planned for two years, despite the government having a potential five year term. (Yes, confusing!) But, the third-past-the-post-Liberals want a commitment to a new voting system (a proportional voting system that goes by the name of the Alternative Vote - not a great system, and not even the system preferred by the third-past-the-post-Liberals), while the first-past-the-post-Conservatives are only agreeing to a referendum (a vote by the UK public) on a new system... and to confuse things more, with the first-past-the-post-Conservatives likely campaigning against it!

With things as they stand, these discussions look like they're going nowhere - the most important thing to the UK public (and the global economy) at the moment isn't really about how the UK select its government, but about a stable government. But as the most important thing to the third-past-the-post-Liberals is the Alternative Vote system, this coalition looks like it won't be achievable.

From there, the third-past-the-post-Liberals can instead secure a deal with the second-past-the-post-Labour (together with the other small parties) - first-past-the-post-Conservatives would then lose the election, and remain the official opposition.

This "rainbow" coalition (all the parties bring their colors to the table, and we have a jumbled messy rainbow of parties propping up the government) would have so many to keep happy, it wouldn't be secure. It may quickly change the voting system, but not necessarily a good thing as a priority.

To make matters more confusing, the third-past-the-post-Liberals would be negotiating with a second-past-the-post-Labour party, currently led by The Clown. However, Gordon is stepping down as the leader, so whoever takes over in September would be free to tear up the agreement with the third-past-the-post-Liberals, forcing a second general election in October (as predicted by Hippie on Friday morning).

Another twist to throw in the mix is the fact that no party would genuinely want to be responsible for forcing a second election this year - the economy wouldn't like that. Easy enough to manage, if a deal can be secured - but between who?

News on Thursday night gave them all the excuse they needed for that: no party will be forcing a second election, the responsibility for this will lie with the Returning Officers (these are the people that manage the vote in every part of the country). The UK's own "hanging chads of Florida" farce meant votes weren't counted, simply because voters couldn't get into the voting station, or once there, couldn't get a voting paper. Ergo, the voting result doesn't actually reflect what the population wanted.

The Likely Outcome of This?

Well, there could be a minority government by the first-past-the-post-Conservatives, but this would be tentative, as they would often be defeated.

Equally, there could be a majority "rainbow" coalition government of anyone that isn't the first-past-the-post-Conservatives, and this would be led by... well, even Hippie can't predict that one, but perhaps Miliband will be successful. Of course, the "rainbow" wouldn't have chosen this Prime Minister, and that could (did Hippie type "could" - should be "would") be enough to cause the collapse of this "government".

Only one thing for sure: unlike Florida, the UK public are going back to the ballot box - in October 2010. Not sure what voting system it will be held under, but probably the current someone-past-the-post-and-possibly-nearly-everyone-except-first-past-the-post system wins unless someone-past-the-post-and-possibly-nearly-everyone-except-first-past-the-post has less seats (324 or fewer) than the current first-past-the-post Conservatives get 326 seats in a new election.

And Who to Support?

If the broke & remote people in a northern place stop spewing out ash, and airline staff are working, the people to support are shareholders of the airlines - get the fuck out of the bloody place!

It's only a wart, not a belly

Hello Dear Reader,

It’s been a while, and for that neglect Hippie is very sorry. Hippie has missed writing the blog, but will make an effort to get back on track & provide more regular updates from now on.

So much been going on to cover too, it’s absolutely ridiculous that it has taken so long, and it’s not fair that subjects will only get a cursory comment today. Still, if you keep clicking on those ads, Hippie can give up working & commit to keeping in touch with you...!

Now that you’re back from clicking on ads (did you buy anything? It doesn’t matter to Hippie, you just click an ad & Hippie earns something, so just curious), we can get stuck into things.

SPINE shows her brilliance & command of the subjects again

Where were we last year? Did we have the iPhone last time Hippie posted? We didn’t have the iPad anyway! Crazy and dumb (the behaviour you would expect of a dolt), but no matter how discreet or efficient technology becomes to help us with prompts, SPINE was still relying on her trusty pen & hand. Honestly, she could have been sitting in the White House (ok, maybe that much was never a real possibility), and yet she needs to write notes on her hand!?! Does she have a tattoo of her name somewhere convenient too, with SPINE sewn into the hem of her underwear & inside her wigs?

Burgled

Hippie had to deal with a burglary recently. It happens to a fair percentage of homes, so can’t say it was unlucky, but certainly bloody annoying. They didn’t actually steal anything, only made a mess of the place. What sense in that? Will cost more to clean the place up than they probably wanted or hoped for in cash (but who handles that stuff? Have these people never heard of banks, plastic, credit cards??)! Next time, if they tell Hippie first, Hippie would be happier to pay them not to burgle him! Just need a bank account number & sort-code, and Hippie will transfer whatever the cleaner gets paid. Better for both parties Hippie thinks.

Nonetheless, Hippie has to wonder if they did have plans (perhaps a shopping list) to take something, but following the sensible practice of SPINE, had their notes on their hand, and couldn't read them with gloves on!

Our Ever Bigger Family

Families are expanding. No, not in the biological sense, but Sister Hippie has learnt of this site now, so the Hippie family reading the blog is expanding. Should Hippie be more careful in future? No? Ok, forget that thought. "Hi" Sister Hippie, hope you're well.

Ok, we’ve caught up... well, not really, but enough to keep us going, and other news Hippie missed could well get an entry of its own soon.

Hippie's Ever So Tiny Wart

Now, what happened this week could have been truly awful – in the same awful zone as those grey hairs Hippie once mentioned. It wasn't, as it isn't even what some imagine it to be, but after other crap, that's just as well.

Mrs Hippie has observed a very small wart on Hippie’s person. (Well, it wasn't an entirely new discovery, but as it came up in conversation with Mrs Hippie, Hippie confirmed to the fine lady that the excess is in fact a wart on his torso.)

This unnecessary collation of surplus-to-requirement flesh sits most awkwardly right below Hippie’s chest, so appearing to the untrained eye to be something more like a small growth that could be attributed to excesses in food & water (mixed with lots of good ingredients to make a golden liquid). It’s easier for Hippie to see it sitting down, which is unfortunate as it does then appear more like one of those beer gut things. But no, Hippie is quite clear that this is a wart - albeit one that makes the waistline tight, leaving the old strained holes on a belt now wrapped around the side, implying to the world that the waistline itself has somehow expanded despite the perfect care & attention it receives.

Hippie isn’t too concerned about the wart itself, as these things can be easily lanced. The real damage this wart does is to perfectly conceal the finely developed “six-pack” stomach now totally enveloped under this mass.

If Hippie was in anyway vain it would be a problem, but as with the hair that rudely popped out without going to the color tank first, it’s just another issue for Hippie to ignore. Hippie will continue to maintain an otherwise perfect specimen of a body, although sadly the public will now be deprived from viewing the same. Shit happens, but you’ll simply need to rely on Hippie’s assurance that the fine physic still exists & is being maintained (not with those dodgy steroid things, but with all-natural supplements made by monks) under this growth.

It’s been fun catching up, and look forward to doing it all again soon. Until then, do check out those ads, and then check out some more....

Hippie

Shit, has it been that long...?

Sorry people, on my way back right now.

Hippie

Raise a Glass

Hippie approves, and suggests we all do this... regularly!

And with a screen shot from that brilliant movie (although the same can't be said for the beer they drank in the bar), Hippie approves of the article all the more so.

p.s. About the adverts that have recently appeared on here: apparently Hippie gets some money if you click on them, so when you've read the blog, please give our sponsors a brief moment of your time, and allow Hippie to engage in more of the above.

Go away, please!

Well, shock horror! Hippie wishes to apologise to you now for reintroducing an old friend we thought had been banished to the cold outer reaches of Never-Again-Land. But alaska, no. SPINE is back.

Of course, we always knew that Johnnie wouldn’t be good for a full term, but now SPINE is following suit, and demonstrating the strength of character typical of quitters.

It’s hard to find words more suitable than John Weaver: "We've seen a lot of nutty behavior from governors and Republican leaders in the last three months, but this one is at the top of that", so Hippie won’t bother....

... except to say (well, you did go through the effort of logging on, and carefully read the content warning that sends dead people away: I can’t short-change you now): Well Done to the moose up there in Narnia, we hope you enjoy your freedom from that hysterical rein (or was it a rein of hysteria?). Of course 52.9% of the American public won’t be anything more than intrigued to watch SPINE’s next move - and certainly not as much as the moose will. And the reason why (except of course that she would have no chance in whatever she does): SPINE is a quitter, a SPINE-less SPINE, an elected official who, like her off-spring, is unable to see things through in a manner declared, and is quite simply full of shite.

The moral is: You stand for office knowing full well what that involves. If quitting was appropriate, probably about a year too late now – the absence last year was when an office lacked the Moose of a head, and quitting now is just... well, Weaver said it all.

Hippie