Bring on 2010

Well, that time of the year when restraint is required is again upon us – albeit a second late this year.

 

Personally, I’ve never understood why people whose alcoholic experiences during the year haven’t extended beyond chewing a wine gum suddenly consider they can handle large volumes of cheap booze.

 

These amateur drunks are most uncouth, making a racket so that all around miss the chimes that lead up to a new year; slobbering over complete strangers, and wishing them a happy new year (as if 2009 could be for many – with the exception of the family due to get a new puppy – or if these strangers really care); expelling the contents of their body where they stand – or have fallen over; and getting into fights, given their lack of decorum, complete lack of drunken etiquette, and inability to handle more than a wine gum.

 

Hippie’s policy for new years is simple: stay up late on 30^th December, get a moderate few drinks in you during the day on 31^st December, and fall asleep early at home, avoiding the nonsense of the amateur drunks & the silly pyrotechnics that flash across the globe.

 

If I sound like a party-pooper, go chew a wine gum: it’s the amateurs that spoil the parties, so I’ll be out on 1^st January, enjoying a few sociable drinks, and carefully avoiding the puddles of... well, the amateur’s semi-digested consumptions that they couldn't manage to contain. These fools spoil parties for those who know how to drink & behave with a semblance of decency too. Best thing for 2009 is to ban sales of wine gums, and anything stronger, to these incompetent amateur drunks.

 

I’ll be back next year – with my conscious clear, dignity maintained, and head feeling fine!

 

 

Hippie

What a Fabulous History

28 days to go...

... to secure a legacy for 8 years of effort.

Let's just look forward to the celebrations afterwards.

There’s a lot of nonsense (and nonsense people) out there...

There’s a lot of nonsense (and nonsense people) out there... like the authors of “Winter medical myths ‘debunked’”.

Hippie was recently provided with an opinion that properly disagreed with hangover cures, but the rest were considered “cool”. Here’s Hippie’s debunking of the myths debunked.

 

“Keeping teetotal or drinking in moderation is the only way to avoid a hangover, they concluded.” Hippie advises: keep drunk, or at least maintain alcohol levels so high your blood doesn’t become the dominant fluid in your veins, and you’ll never have the hangover catch you up!

 

Eating late and gaining weight: thankfully this theory is all about eating late, not drinking late, so all is good.

 

Sugar and Hyperactivity: scientists naturally found this was all in the mind: if you’re drunk & mellow, any little people running around would appear hyperactive. All in the mind, but a comfortably drunken mind would understandably get frustrated by people not being quiet, throwing toys, or sucking their lips (the opposite to hyperactive little people: active old people).

Hats and the cold: this is true, as hats are intended for people who woke up with a hangover; found it too cold (or difficult, or sadly perhaps didn't feel comfortable displaying their naked body to the windows of the world) to get up & get into the shower; and are having a bad hair day.

Poinsettia Toxicity: just about everything is poisonous in sufficient quantity – including water. This decoration simply has a very small level of poisonous sap, and is no harm to anyone. And alcohol would excuse you from worrying about it anyway.

 

Suicides at Christmas: if you haven’t got any alcohol, it’s understandable you’d feel suicidal with no easy hangover cure, little people running around, dead people sucking their lips, a silly hat on, and dangerous decorations littering the place!

Rather conveniently, another myth or two can be debunked with all these revelations: the answer to everything is at the bottom of a glass, and alcohol does solve all your problems. According to the conclusions of authoritative scientists that is. ;-)