It's only a wart, not a belly

Hello Dear Reader,

It’s been a while, and for that neglect Hippie is very sorry. Hippie has missed writing the blog, but will make an effort to get back on track & provide more regular updates from now on.

So much been going on to cover too, it’s absolutely ridiculous that it has taken so long, and it’s not fair that subjects will only get a cursory comment today. Still, if you keep clicking on those ads, Hippie can give up working & commit to keeping in touch with you...!

Now that you’re back from clicking on ads (did you buy anything? It doesn’t matter to Hippie, you just click an ad & Hippie earns something, so just curious), we can get stuck into things.

SPINE shows her brilliance & command of the subjects again

Where were we last year? Did we have the iPhone last time Hippie posted? We didn’t have the iPad anyway! Crazy and dumb (the behaviour you would expect of a dolt), but no matter how discreet or efficient technology becomes to help us with prompts, SPINE was still relying on her trusty pen & hand. Honestly, she could have been sitting in the White House (ok, maybe that much was never a real possibility), and yet she needs to write notes on her hand!?! Does she have a tattoo of her name somewhere convenient too, with SPINE sewn into the hem of her underwear & inside her wigs?

Burgled

Hippie had to deal with a burglary recently. It happens to a fair percentage of homes, so can’t say it was unlucky, but certainly bloody annoying. They didn’t actually steal anything, only made a mess of the place. What sense in that? Will cost more to clean the place up than they probably wanted or hoped for in cash (but who handles that stuff? Have these people never heard of banks, plastic, credit cards??)! Next time, if they tell Hippie first, Hippie would be happier to pay them not to burgle him! Just need a bank account number & sort-code, and Hippie will transfer whatever the cleaner gets paid. Better for both parties Hippie thinks.

Nonetheless, Hippie has to wonder if they did have plans (perhaps a shopping list) to take something, but following the sensible practice of SPINE, had their notes on their hand, and couldn't read them with gloves on!

Our Ever Bigger Family

Families are expanding. No, not in the biological sense, but Sister Hippie has learnt of this site now, so the Hippie family reading the blog is expanding. Should Hippie be more careful in future? No? Ok, forget that thought. "Hi" Sister Hippie, hope you're well.

Ok, we’ve caught up... well, not really, but enough to keep us going, and other news Hippie missed could well get an entry of its own soon.

Hippie's Ever So Tiny Wart

Now, what happened this week could have been truly awful – in the same awful zone as those grey hairs Hippie once mentioned. It wasn't, as it isn't even what some imagine it to be, but after other crap, that's just as well.

Mrs Hippie has observed a very small wart on Hippie’s person. (Well, it wasn't an entirely new discovery, but as it came up in conversation with Mrs Hippie, Hippie confirmed to the fine lady that the excess is in fact a wart on his torso.)

This unnecessary collation of surplus-to-requirement flesh sits most awkwardly right below Hippie’s chest, so appearing to the untrained eye to be something more like a small growth that could be attributed to excesses in food & water (mixed with lots of good ingredients to make a golden liquid). It’s easier for Hippie to see it sitting down, which is unfortunate as it does then appear more like one of those beer gut things. But no, Hippie is quite clear that this is a wart - albeit one that makes the waistline tight, leaving the old strained holes on a belt now wrapped around the side, implying to the world that the waistline itself has somehow expanded despite the perfect care & attention it receives.

Hippie isn’t too concerned about the wart itself, as these things can be easily lanced. The real damage this wart does is to perfectly conceal the finely developed “six-pack” stomach now totally enveloped under this mass.

If Hippie was in anyway vain it would be a problem, but as with the hair that rudely popped out without going to the color tank first, it’s just another issue for Hippie to ignore. Hippie will continue to maintain an otherwise perfect specimen of a body, although sadly the public will now be deprived from viewing the same. Shit happens, but you’ll simply need to rely on Hippie’s assurance that the fine physic still exists & is being maintained (not with those dodgy steroid things, but with all-natural supplements made by monks) under this growth.

It’s been fun catching up, and look forward to doing it all again soon. Until then, do check out those ads, and then check out some more....

Hippie

Shit, has it been that long...?

Sorry people, on my way back right now.

Hippie

Raise a Glass

Hippie approves, and suggests we all do this... regularly!

And with a screen shot from that brilliant movie (although the same can't be said for the beer they drank in the bar), Hippie approves of the article all the more so.

p.s. About the adverts that have recently appeared on here: apparently Hippie gets some money if you click on them, so when you've read the blog, please give our sponsors a brief moment of your time, and allow Hippie to engage in more of the above.

Go away, please!

Well, shock horror! Hippie wishes to apologise to you now for reintroducing an old friend we thought had been banished to the cold outer reaches of Never-Again-Land. But alaska, no. SPINE is back.

Of course, we always knew that Johnnie wouldn’t be good for a full term, but now SPINE is following suit, and demonstrating the strength of character typical of quitters.

It’s hard to find words more suitable than John Weaver: "We've seen a lot of nutty behavior from governors and Republican leaders in the last three months, but this one is at the top of that", so Hippie won’t bother....

... except to say (well, you did go through the effort of logging on, and carefully read the content warning that sends dead people away: I can’t short-change you now): Well Done to the moose up there in Narnia, we hope you enjoy your freedom from that hysterical rein (or was it a rein of hysteria?). Of course 52.9% of the American public won’t be anything more than intrigued to watch SPINE’s next move - and certainly not as much as the moose will. And the reason why (except of course that she would have no chance in whatever she does): SPINE is a quitter, a SPINE-less SPINE, an elected official who, like her off-spring, is unable to see things through in a manner declared, and is quite simply full of shite.

The moral is: You stand for office knowing full well what that involves. If quitting was appropriate, probably about a year too late now – the absence last year was when an office lacked the Moose of a head, and quitting now is just... well, Weaver said it all.

Hippie

What about the poor man in the street?

Given the White Glove is now a little more than off-color, there has been much said about how much out of pocket AEG Live will be. But where are the thoughts for the poor man in the street? No, Hippie doesn’t mean the fans (those people who a few years ago wouldn’t dare announce their view of White Glove in public – a career & reputation in tatters; record sales falling badly; even radio stations banned the White Glove from the airwaves... although they made up for it recently) who won’t now go to the ball, but should get a refund on their purchases. Hippie’s thoughts aren’t even with those fans that paid over the odds in buying tickets on auction websites – the refund policy for these purchases is normally more fragile even than trying to get money from a broke company.

No, Hippie thinks some thought should go to the poor man in the street; you know the ones that are on every corner for a few blocks before you reach the venue of chosen event.

Tickets for the Not-So-White Glove’s performances sold out in hours, but you just know the touts will now be pouring over the terms & conditions, focused on finding a way to explain their possession of hundreds of tickets, all booked in someone else’s name, and with the seats disseminated around the hall, determined to get something back for their dodgy investment.

At least those with a stock of t-shirts & hats that look as authentic in appearance as Not-So-White-Glove did can find a pocket of mourning fans, and get some return on their useless wares. But for many others, they’ve got bundles & bundles of worthless memorabilia, tickets to an event that never will be.

So next time you get all excited at seeing your favorite performer, as you make your way across the expanse of space to join a line a adoring fans, spare a thought for the poor man on the street, and how broke they must be now.

Hippie

Long Time, No Trousers

Hello,

Hippie's been really busy of late, so if you don't mind, please do excuse my absence; I am back now - and determined to get back to the flow of things.

One posting that has been dwelling within me since I was last here is eventually coming to fruition as I type...

I can't remember, and having not checked the historical posts, I'm not sure quite where things were left. I do know, though, that my sabbaticalish absence started around the weeks before an important court case - I was presenting a claim, not facing court in my own right! (Thanks to the useful change of heart of a client only when in the stand to give testimony, and the odd view of a court on a visitor becoming a resident the moment they drift into sleep on any visit, the case was lost, but que sara, life & Hippieisms goes on).

Aside from the above, for which preparations were done as far as they could be - regular discussions & prompts with the client, and assurances they knew what their position was; I can't select the judge, let alone do more than the "credible & appreciated" [judge's words, not Hippie's - I actually think their commendations were more, but these things are care-free to Hippie, particularly when I was hanging on their every word, which a few moments later prompted me to finish my note to my client: "We... lost"] summing-up of Hippie – I felt good about the case for weeks in advance. The opposing side regularly wanted to settle, and regularly applied to the court for new orders against us; we rebuffed everything, safe in the knowledge the client was sound in their testimony, and the judge's - or strictly speaking, a judge & two lay-persons, making a panel of three - would be of sound mind. Optimistic, but no obvious reason not to be.

A couple of minor points to deal with in the days before the case, but all of such ease in substance that there was simply nothing (apparently) to worry about...

Hippie dropped a suit into the cleaning shop a few days in advance of the court hearing (don't have to bother with court or other formal meetings too often, so don't bother with formal attire too often) with clear instructions on what (and why) was required.

A day or so later, all good: Hippie, accompanied by Mrs Hippie, attended the cleaners, and was assured all was in good order, and Hippie would be fit for presentation; no reason to doubt the professionals.

We then hit the aisles of the local supermarket, the grounds of which within the dry cleaner resides; armed with a basket, Hippie delegated responsibility for the laundry to Mrs Hippie, the suit deposited over a shoulder as we strode among the proper bacon & ghastly-looking pasta sauces.

A few hours after getting home, Hippie felt his girth should be measured against the restrictions of his formal clothing – strange things happen to clothes after time if they’re exposed to the fumes of alcohol for too long! (Never understood how cloth is affected in this way, but it does happen.)

Alas, such an exercise was not practical on this occasion: there was no waistband within which to test the fitting of Hippie’s physique.

Indeed, not only was the waistband missing, but the accompanying trouser legs too!

Consulting with Mrs Hippie, advice was offered that involved calling the supermarket and enquiring about whether they noticed if Hippie, on a recent visit to their store, had dropped his trousers in one of their aisles.

Hippie declined to pursue this option ("Hi, did I drop my trousers when I was there recently?") , although Mrs Hippie did pursue such enquiries – to no avail. Enquiries with the dry cleaners were also to no avail, so clearly Hippie’s trousers were dropped somewhere in public, but not in a manner that Hippie was aware of, never mind being a willing participant in.

Well, the trousers have never been recovered, and Hippie is juggling other suits to cope with current demand. Will also be juggling time better to keep this post alive though.

Be happy, Hippie always is.

Hippie

The Thrill, The Excitment, The Speculation, The Fun/Boredom

Whatever happened to those silly adverts about "I'm a Mac, I'm Fun", "I'm a PC, I'm Boring"?

From what Hippie could make out of those ads, both products were computers, and both could be programmed to do as the user desired: be boring; have ugly user-interfaces; compute & present in fancy pictures your grocery spreadsheets; play music or videos; or just look posh or dull on your lap or desk.

But which one did which, or more importantly, which didn't do either?

It's taken a while, but I recall discussing the merits of two operating systems once (with a fan of a white computer over any other). Now we can really compare the two systems against each other, and check what is really fun!

A bit of background first (dull BBC links used, just to balance the boring/fun issues):

three months ago, people were getting warnings about a virus yet to activate its payload (the suspense starts);

rewards offered by a software company (Hollywood scriptwriters employed yet?);

an eye kept on developments (but those out of the loop kept happy with the issue being downplayed);

a schedule available for those that like formality (is that for the fun, or the boring?);

another .com bubble bursts (nothing to see here... move on please);

and then, out of the shadows, the evil perpetrator's hand sneaks back into the scene (could even Hitchcock write such a script, let alone William Dozier narrate so many cliff-hangers?).

Now, honestly, who could find this drawn-out episode dull or boring? Whoever is behind this conficker/downadup/Microsoft Knowledge Base 123456789, they have generated some interest in computer security, and kept those of us comfortable in our security entertained.

While Hippie cannot condone the inappropriate access of naive computer-users systems, if we did all keep our systems maintained (and could trust our operating system not to have any vulnerabilities - what a nirvana), where would the fun be? These hackers are clever: they've kept security experts on their toes; generated large rewards; and now their program is updating with clever, encrypted software - of the kind we're all told we need to use to keep our information safe, that the security people now hope to crack (hopefully not possible, as some people bank - literally - on this security)!

So, where would the fun in computers be if we all just turned them on, played a game of Spacewar!, and then turned off the computer so we could use it for another purpose?

Hippie is all for fun, not boring computers, and Hippie knows just which side of the fence to find that on....

Discolouring maturity

Hippie found two - a whole two - grey hairs today.

Not in the hairbrush either, so Hippie can't blame them on the cleaner.

The offending items were in fact protruding, with the innocence that only two single hairs among thousands can, from the scalp of Hippie!

Hippie took to consult Mrs Hippie about this discovery, only to find Mrs Hippie aware to such things - she had observed such a seismic change to his scalp recently, but avoided giving warning of the same.

Que sara: Hippie has hair, and it often lightens in the Summer months, so he guesses what appears to be grey to be a sign of this awful climate change thing: ice melts in gin; beer gets warm in the garden; Hippie's hair lightens with maturity.

Shopping sprees

Ah, shopping sprees. Don't you just love them? As long as you're making choices, and spending money anyway - following mature people around shops, as they get vocally excited at balls of wool, is not such fun.

Now psychologists believe they have explained the reason for some impulse buys & extravagant shopping: the time of the month - shopping being a way for premenstrual women to deal with negative emotions.

With the greatest respect to Professor Karen Pine though, Hippie* has to question these findings. Of the 153 women studied, almost two-thirds of those in the later stages of the menstrual cycle - that luteal phase - admitted they had bought something on impulse. And many felt remorse later.

But what does that prove? If you studied 153,000 women, almost two-thirds would (or at least if they were honest, or understood the harm of a little white lie) admit to have bought something on impulse - regardless of where in their cycle they are.

Now, let's be clear: Hippie isn't a women-basher, either verbally or physically. In fact he despises such conduct. And of course, while not being able to appreciate first-hand just what the regular cycle must be like, Hippie does empathise as much as any man can.

But ladies, really! It's appreciated that you might display emotions, feel discomfort, shout & scream, or find one or more (Hippie's trying to be polite, and does wish not to be in anyway disparaging) of many other means to express yourself. But impulse shopping? For 10 days in a month?

Check your calendars again, and then check your calculators: there are twice as many days in the month that you have yet to account for!

No doubt you indulge in shopping during these uncomfortable 10 days. But be honest with us all - you indulge in shopping in the other 20-or-so days too!

Hippie's view on all of this shopping though is an all-together different matter: as long as it's not for balls of wool, and perhaps if you take in a local inn to refresh yourself/your partner after a long day shopping, what harm? Enjoy, as what purpose does money serve if you can't have fun spending it?

Hippie hopes any males reading this do try to tolerate the difficult experiences their friends/partners/lovers/associates/enemies are experiencing.

And Hippie hopes any females reading this try to understand that we men can't properly appreciate your experiences, but we (at least some of us, anyway) do aspire to be tolerant, and wish - for your sake - that we could do more to help.

Hippie

*No, that's not really Hippie! Did you really think Hippie would publish his image online? Please go back to the start, and read all entries in this blog again.

Still not dead

Hello,

Hippie has been really busy recently, so no time to keep you in touch with thoughts.

A few court cases coming up, so expect little in the next month or so, but I will make up for it - and if any Hippie thought comes to mind, I'll certainly update.

In fact, that's what brings me here today: bloody busy, and pissed-off with a silly "professional" in a court case we're working on - while we both work on it, but from opposite sides, the court reasonably expects us to behave professionally towards each other. I am, but they are... well... the court can decide that.

I'm confident in that case, and just pissed it's requiring so much time.

Another case is going.... well, nowhere! Or at least for the respondent, the last I heard or saw. I'm the litigant, so if they take no action I'll reluctantly take a default case against them, although a day in court would be interesting.

Hippie is going places though. But that's another story, and not for this blog.

Hippie's business is on Twitter now too, but that won't be linked to this blog (professional standards, you understand I'm sure), so just mentioning in passing.

Anyway, getting back to Hippieisms...

Does Mother Hippie (F***** - anonymity is still assured) still read this? If so, turn off now!

Still here? Bye F***** - you won't be interested in this!

No, honestly F******, you should check the next blog, but go now!

Ok, you got a warning before entering, and more above. So here goes:

what is Pope Pointless XXIX about now? Even Silly-Billy & the wife wants to spend their masses of money helping poor nations - but never on iPods, and I suspect there's probably a ban on the $100 laptop too, as the operating system isn't good.

The real problem the world has is the cost of Durex, and their monolopy in their market.

Banning Durex though is more ridiculous than banning bankers - they either serve, or are, wankers.

These days, Hippie thinks World AIDS Day is often forgotten (it happens on 1 Dec, and is marked with the wearing of a red ribbon). We have colored ribbons for every event now, and inter/national days for just about everything.

Perhaps it's because we think AIDS is cured, controlled, or just not in our community anymore.

Hippie is still here, but a good friend of mine did die from AIDS, and while he had to take a hell of lot of drugs everyday, and couldn't even have ice in the pub's gin & tonic (we often don't realise just how restrictive the controlled condition is), he passed away some years ago now.

I've never appreciated condoms, and particularly could never grasp the idea of using the thick latex that you are often offered freely in gay clubs, but I certainly don't appreciate the idea of AIDS either.

Hippie isn't dead, but there will be many that will be, and ancient lectures & virtues will never solve the problem.

Pope Pontificating XXX will need to appreciate the modern world, and support the control of disease that harms so many - including that disease rape, that may justify a child of nine choosing (or more naturally, having an adult decision taken for them) that they have a right to mature & enjoy the life they were gifted with.

Wow, this got heavy!

Sorry, not intended - I just planned to pontificate about the views of others about condoms. Que sara.

Well, Hippie is good, still madly in love, and still really busy, but with every intention of keeping you up to date with new Hippieism thoughts - for the benefit of F***** (have they got this far? Que sara, sara....), Hippieisms, are explained below, but are succinctly thoughts or views, hopefully often with a slant of humour, but occasionally of a more important stance. Debates/contributions always welcome.

Be good & have fun all (that doesn't require a condom),

Hippie