Bloody Alter egos

Ok, no idea how or when it happened, but Hippie's alter ego took him over recently. Hippie only knew about this when Hippie returned to being Hippie; slightly damp patch of hair, but no other indication anything happened - well, some small indication, but that's covered below.

Hippie's washing machine improved in its performance recently: 5 minutes for a whole laundry cycle!

Yes, Hippie knows you would love a machine like that too; very quick & efficient... only this super performance came with one small issue: the machine filled with water, gurgled twice, emptied the water, and was done.

Laundry was a lot wetter than when it went in or typically was, and looked rather snotty too - the detergent lingered on the laundry - but if you consider the laundry was wet & introduced to soap, and therefore it was washed, all very efficient.

Some sort of misunderstanding with the retailer of washing machines meant the old machine had to be removed from its residence - as in the pipes that are hidden away from regular people, sitting in their concealed place that if they were female & in a public place in France they would be illegal for concealing themselves (why France would make it illegal to be a washing machine part & not be allowed to be concealed is beyond Hippie, but then so much about that place is) - before being taken away.

To confuse the issue further, the new machine was unpacked only in part (some parts needed to be removed with some sort of "tool" [what is that thing in the picture?] that doesn't come with the machine), but not installed. What were all those extra costs for, if not to install the bloody thing? Hippie can barely turn a faucet on, let alone plug a washing machine in!

Well, Hippie returned to his body this afternoon, and while finding a patch of hair slightly damp (there appears to have been a small discharge of water sprayed where the machine's water pipe connects to the mains when the pipes (or whatever the bloody parlance is for connecting pipes) weren't properly tightened, so perhaps this is could be the cause), Hippie otherwise has a new washing machine installed.

No idea how the old one was disconnected without flooding Hippie's house; no idea how the new one was installed without flooding Hippie's neighbourhood; it just happened, with no involvement or voluntary activity from Hippie, just Hippie's alter ego.

Hippie is going to drink some (more) beer now, not for Hippie's pleasure though, just to thank his alter ego. (And if Hippie's alter ego subscribes to this blog, cheers from Hippie.)

Oops, wrong blog/twig

Hippie had fajitas for dinner.

Just to let you all know, because twits really care about these things.

As Hippie can post twigs, Hippie can even tell you Hippie had green peppers, tomatoes [decide how you want to pronounce that, the spelling remains the same], baby lettuce, a few cheeses, oh, and lots of other good stuff - including a huge pile of chicken slices prepared in various ways, salsa, sour cream... and there was more on the table, but Hippie can't remember everything.

Oh, hold on, Hippie should have run out of room by now. (No, not due to the food - there was a lot of it though) - but the characters: isn't Hippie meant to tell you about dinner in less than 140 milliseconds, as you'll get bored after that?

Ok, dinner was good.

Hippie

p.s. follow Hippie @hippiewhatthehellisthisthingaboutthatIcan'tevenhavethisusernamewithoutusingupallmycharacters#hippieisms?andpeopleusethis?!? Ok, “Dinner was fab”. Oops, said too much, I’ve said enough...

It's all Black & White Now

Hello,

Long time, I know. Hippie has been very busy, but still always thrives to get back here. Will continue trying.

For now, only a quick entry I thought I would share...

Mrs Hippie often shares deodorant with Hippie (this typically happens when Hippie runs out, but Hippie can't be blamed for that).

Unfortunately, with a busy weekend now behind us, even Mrs Hippie (helped no doubt by others, who shall remain nameless) had run out of that fragrance-in-a-can-stuff that ensures we don't smell naturally. (Do we ever fuss about BO during sex? Does it ever put us off that intense moment of passion? Why then do we take such offence to it when encountering someone in a meeting, on public transport, or anywhere else? Odd! We appear to have people smell like the stuff we polish our floors with, instead of their own natural (and certainly at times, it's considered sweet, perfume) tickle on the nasal passages, even if the unnatural is more likely to cause the occasional sneeze).

Well anyway, I digress. And to be honest, who wants to read a blog entry about the pros & cons of deodorant? (If not you, Hippie suggests you click an advert as you won't like this entry!)

Mrs Hippie was out today, and managed to pick up a can of deodorant that she described as being "for both of us". Works for me, a practical option having less cans of spray around.

But I was pleasantly surprised to find out just how much it was "for both of us": Nivea invisible "for Black & White"!

Never knew they had different deodorants for the races, but certainly helpful we can share one with confidence it's for both of us in the Hippie household now.

Hippie

Pick Up a Penguin

Nothing exciting yet with the new UK government, so the security at Ireland's zoo is instead receiving attention today.

Apparently a gang made off with a penguin from Dublin zoo at about 8am this morning. Perhaps they couldn't figure out how to cook it (Hippie's never eaten penguin, but always open to trying something new), or perhaps even pluck it, but either way, it found itself abandoned on the sedate streets of North Dublin. (Ok, they might not have been the sedate streets, but the North side of Dublin does have some nicer areas than the South side, albeit with some streets where caution is still advisable.)

What's fascinating about this apprehension is the Irish idea of security measures: "The penguin went missing this morning at 8am but due to the security measures that are in place at Dublin Zoo and the rapid response of gardai, the penguin was soon recovered and returned." Was this really due to the security measures in place? (the gang did get out of the zoo with a penguin!) and the rapid response of gardai? (it took several hours to find a bird not normally native to the streets of the North side of Dublin) or more to do with the gang not knowing how to keep or cook a penguin? (Hippie thinks so).

Hippie

The Big Question

Ok, so remarkably the UK has a coalition government, with an aim of a five year term. Will be interesting to see how it unfolds & works, and whether it does lead to a change in the way politics is conducted in the future.

Hippie still suspects there could be an election this year, or at least by February next year, but just perhaps this government will manage to command sufficient support to maintain confidence until 2015.

The Big Question though isn't who will get what positions in cabinet, how the parties' supporters & MPs will react, who will lead the Labour Party, or indeed what happens next.

No, the big question (that most journalists probably will duck) is this: did the British Prime Minister, David Cameron, christen his new Downing Street flat last night, and if so, in which room(s)?

Someone Past the Post

What a bloody farce the UK elections are proving to be!

In principal, the system is "first past the post" (the party that gets the most votes) who wins, but in practice the "third past the post" is going to determine who wins... well, probably the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth, collectively keeping out the first (or highest polling) past the post. In other words, the "first past the post" system really means "someone-past-the-post-and-possibly-nearly-everyone-except-first-past-the-post".

It gets more complicated than that too: the first- past-the-post (right-wing Conservatives) & third-past-the-post (left-wing Liberal Democrats) could form a coalition, and give the UK public a secure government for the next two years - the coalition was only planned for two years, despite the government having a potential five year term. (Yes, confusing!) But, the third-past-the-post-Liberals want a commitment to a new voting system (a proportional voting system that goes by the name of the Alternative Vote - not a great system, and not even the system preferred by the third-past-the-post-Liberals), while the first-past-the-post-Conservatives are only agreeing to a referendum (a vote by the UK public) on a new system... and to confuse things more, with the first-past-the-post-Conservatives likely campaigning against it!

With things as they stand, these discussions look like they're going nowhere - the most important thing to the UK public (and the global economy) at the moment isn't really about how the UK select its government, but about a stable government. But as the most important thing to the third-past-the-post-Liberals is the Alternative Vote system, this coalition looks like it won't be achievable.

From there, the third-past-the-post-Liberals can instead secure a deal with the second-past-the-post-Labour (together with the other small parties) - first-past-the-post-Conservatives would then lose the election, and remain the official opposition.

This "rainbow" coalition (all the parties bring their colors to the table, and we have a jumbled messy rainbow of parties propping up the government) would have so many to keep happy, it wouldn't be secure. It may quickly change the voting system, but not necessarily a good thing as a priority.

To make matters more confusing, the third-past-the-post-Liberals would be negotiating with a second-past-the-post-Labour party, currently led by The Clown. However, Gordon is stepping down as the leader, so whoever takes over in September would be free to tear up the agreement with the third-past-the-post-Liberals, forcing a second general election in October (as predicted by Hippie on Friday morning).

Another twist to throw in the mix is the fact that no party would genuinely want to be responsible for forcing a second election this year - the economy wouldn't like that. Easy enough to manage, if a deal can be secured - but between who?

News on Thursday night gave them all the excuse they needed for that: no party will be forcing a second election, the responsibility for this will lie with the Returning Officers (these are the people that manage the vote in every part of the country). The UK's own "hanging chads of Florida" farce meant votes weren't counted, simply because voters couldn't get into the voting station, or once there, couldn't get a voting paper. Ergo, the voting result doesn't actually reflect what the population wanted.

The Likely Outcome of This?

Well, there could be a minority government by the first-past-the-post-Conservatives, but this would be tentative, as they would often be defeated.

Equally, there could be a majority "rainbow" coalition government of anyone that isn't the first-past-the-post-Conservatives, and this would be led by... well, even Hippie can't predict that one, but perhaps Miliband will be successful. Of course, the "rainbow" wouldn't have chosen this Prime Minister, and that could (did Hippie type "could" - should be "would") be enough to cause the collapse of this "government".

Only one thing for sure: unlike Florida, the UK public are going back to the ballot box - in October 2010. Not sure what voting system it will be held under, but probably the current someone-past-the-post-and-possibly-nearly-everyone-except-first-past-the-post system wins unless someone-past-the-post-and-possibly-nearly-everyone-except-first-past-the-post has less seats (324 or fewer) than the current first-past-the-post Conservatives get 326 seats in a new election.

And Who to Support?

If the broke & remote people in a northern place stop spewing out ash, and airline staff are working, the people to support are shareholders of the airlines - get the fuck out of the bloody place!

It's only a wart, not a belly

Hello Dear Reader,

It’s been a while, and for that neglect Hippie is very sorry. Hippie has missed writing the blog, but will make an effort to get back on track & provide more regular updates from now on.

So much been going on to cover too, it’s absolutely ridiculous that it has taken so long, and it’s not fair that subjects will only get a cursory comment today. Still, if you keep clicking on those ads, Hippie can give up working & commit to keeping in touch with you...!

Now that you’re back from clicking on ads (did you buy anything? It doesn’t matter to Hippie, you just click an ad & Hippie earns something, so just curious), we can get stuck into things.

SPINE shows her brilliance & command of the subjects again

Where were we last year? Did we have the iPhone last time Hippie posted? We didn’t have the iPad anyway! Crazy and dumb (the behaviour you would expect of a dolt), but no matter how discreet or efficient technology becomes to help us with prompts, SPINE was still relying on her trusty pen & hand. Honestly, she could have been sitting in the White House (ok, maybe that much was never a real possibility), and yet she needs to write notes on her hand!?! Does she have a tattoo of her name somewhere convenient too, with SPINE sewn into the hem of her underwear & inside her wigs?

Burgled

Hippie had to deal with a burglary recently. It happens to a fair percentage of homes, so can’t say it was unlucky, but certainly bloody annoying. They didn’t actually steal anything, only made a mess of the place. What sense in that? Will cost more to clean the place up than they probably wanted or hoped for in cash (but who handles that stuff? Have these people never heard of banks, plastic, credit cards??)! Next time, if they tell Hippie first, Hippie would be happier to pay them not to burgle him! Just need a bank account number & sort-code, and Hippie will transfer whatever the cleaner gets paid. Better for both parties Hippie thinks.

Nonetheless, Hippie has to wonder if they did have plans (perhaps a shopping list) to take something, but following the sensible practice of SPINE, had their notes on their hand, and couldn't read them with gloves on!

Our Ever Bigger Family

Families are expanding. No, not in the biological sense, but Sister Hippie has learnt of this site now, so the Hippie family reading the blog is expanding. Should Hippie be more careful in future? No? Ok, forget that thought. "Hi" Sister Hippie, hope you're well.

Ok, we’ve caught up... well, not really, but enough to keep us going, and other news Hippie missed could well get an entry of its own soon.

Hippie's Ever So Tiny Wart

Now, what happened this week could have been truly awful – in the same awful zone as those grey hairs Hippie once mentioned. It wasn't, as it isn't even what some imagine it to be, but after other crap, that's just as well.

Mrs Hippie has observed a very small wart on Hippie’s person. (Well, it wasn't an entirely new discovery, but as it came up in conversation with Mrs Hippie, Hippie confirmed to the fine lady that the excess is in fact a wart on his torso.)

This unnecessary collation of surplus-to-requirement flesh sits most awkwardly right below Hippie’s chest, so appearing to the untrained eye to be something more like a small growth that could be attributed to excesses in food & water (mixed with lots of good ingredients to make a golden liquid). It’s easier for Hippie to see it sitting down, which is unfortunate as it does then appear more like one of those beer gut things. But no, Hippie is quite clear that this is a wart - albeit one that makes the waistline tight, leaving the old strained holes on a belt now wrapped around the side, implying to the world that the waistline itself has somehow expanded despite the perfect care & attention it receives.

Hippie isn’t too concerned about the wart itself, as these things can be easily lanced. The real damage this wart does is to perfectly conceal the finely developed “six-pack” stomach now totally enveloped under this mass.

If Hippie was in anyway vain it would be a problem, but as with the hair that rudely popped out without going to the color tank first, it’s just another issue for Hippie to ignore. Hippie will continue to maintain an otherwise perfect specimen of a body, although sadly the public will now be deprived from viewing the same. Shit happens, but you’ll simply need to rely on Hippie’s assurance that the fine physic still exists & is being maintained (not with those dodgy steroid things, but with all-natural supplements made by monks) under this growth.

It’s been fun catching up, and look forward to doing it all again soon. Until then, do check out those ads, and then check out some more....

Hippie

Shit, has it been that long...?

Sorry people, on my way back right now.

Hippie

Raise a Glass

Hippie approves, and suggests we all do this... regularly!

And with a screen shot from that brilliant movie (although the same can't be said for the beer they drank in the bar), Hippie approves of the article all the more so.

p.s. About the adverts that have recently appeared on here: apparently Hippie gets some money if you click on them, so when you've read the blog, please give our sponsors a brief moment of your time, and allow Hippie to engage in more of the above.

Go away, please!

Well, shock horror! Hippie wishes to apologise to you now for reintroducing an old friend we thought had been banished to the cold outer reaches of Never-Again-Land. But alaska, no. SPINE is back.

Of course, we always knew that Johnnie wouldn’t be good for a full term, but now SPINE is following suit, and demonstrating the strength of character typical of quitters.

It’s hard to find words more suitable than John Weaver: "We've seen a lot of nutty behavior from governors and Republican leaders in the last three months, but this one is at the top of that", so Hippie won’t bother....

... except to say (well, you did go through the effort of logging on, and carefully read the content warning that sends dead people away: I can’t short-change you now): Well Done to the moose up there in Narnia, we hope you enjoy your freedom from that hysterical rein (or was it a rein of hysteria?). Of course 52.9% of the American public won’t be anything more than intrigued to watch SPINE’s next move - and certainly not as much as the moose will. And the reason why (except of course that she would have no chance in whatever she does): SPINE is a quitter, a SPINE-less SPINE, an elected official who, like her off-spring, is unable to see things through in a manner declared, and is quite simply full of shite.

The moral is: You stand for office knowing full well what that involves. If quitting was appropriate, probably about a year too late now – the absence last year was when an office lacked the Moose of a head, and quitting now is just... well, Weaver said it all.

Hippie

What about the poor man in the street?

Given the White Glove is now a little more than off-color, there has been much said about how much out of pocket AEG Live will be. But where are the thoughts for the poor man in the street? No, Hippie doesn’t mean the fans (those people who a few years ago wouldn’t dare announce their view of White Glove in public – a career & reputation in tatters; record sales falling badly; even radio stations banned the White Glove from the airwaves... although they made up for it recently) who won’t now go to the ball, but should get a refund on their purchases. Hippie’s thoughts aren’t even with those fans that paid over the odds in buying tickets on auction websites – the refund policy for these purchases is normally more fragile even than trying to get money from a broke company.

No, Hippie thinks some thought should go to the poor man in the street; you know the ones that are on every corner for a few blocks before you reach the venue of chosen event.

Tickets for the Not-So-White Glove’s performances sold out in hours, but you just know the touts will now be pouring over the terms & conditions, focused on finding a way to explain their possession of hundreds of tickets, all booked in someone else’s name, and with the seats disseminated around the hall, determined to get something back for their dodgy investment.

At least those with a stock of t-shirts & hats that look as authentic in appearance as Not-So-White-Glove did can find a pocket of mourning fans, and get some return on their useless wares. But for many others, they’ve got bundles & bundles of worthless memorabilia, tickets to an event that never will be.

So next time you get all excited at seeing your favorite performer, as you make your way across the expanse of space to join a line a adoring fans, spare a thought for the poor man on the street, and how broke they must be now.

Hippie

Long Time, No Trousers

Hello,

Hippie's been really busy of late, so if you don't mind, please do excuse my absence; I am back now - and determined to get back to the flow of things.

One posting that has been dwelling within me since I was last here is eventually coming to fruition as I type...

I can't remember, and having not checked the historical posts, I'm not sure quite where things were left. I do know, though, that my sabbaticalish absence started around the weeks before an important court case - I was presenting a claim, not facing court in my own right! (Thanks to the useful change of heart of a client only when in the stand to give testimony, and the odd view of a court on a visitor becoming a resident the moment they drift into sleep on any visit, the case was lost, but que sara, life & Hippieisms goes on).

Aside from the above, for which preparations were done as far as they could be - regular discussions & prompts with the client, and assurances they knew what their position was; I can't select the judge, let alone do more than the "credible & appreciated" [judge's words, not Hippie's - I actually think their commendations were more, but these things are care-free to Hippie, particularly when I was hanging on their every word, which a few moments later prompted me to finish my note to my client: "We... lost"] summing-up of Hippie – I felt good about the case for weeks in advance. The opposing side regularly wanted to settle, and regularly applied to the court for new orders against us; we rebuffed everything, safe in the knowledge the client was sound in their testimony, and the judge's - or strictly speaking, a judge & two lay-persons, making a panel of three - would be of sound mind. Optimistic, but no obvious reason not to be.

A couple of minor points to deal with in the days before the case, but all of such ease in substance that there was simply nothing (apparently) to worry about...

Hippie dropped a suit into the cleaning shop a few days in advance of the court hearing (don't have to bother with court or other formal meetings too often, so don't bother with formal attire too often) with clear instructions on what (and why) was required.

A day or so later, all good: Hippie, accompanied by Mrs Hippie, attended the cleaners, and was assured all was in good order, and Hippie would be fit for presentation; no reason to doubt the professionals.

We then hit the aisles of the local supermarket, the grounds of which within the dry cleaner resides; armed with a basket, Hippie delegated responsibility for the laundry to Mrs Hippie, the suit deposited over a shoulder as we strode among the proper bacon & ghastly-looking pasta sauces.

A few hours after getting home, Hippie felt his girth should be measured against the restrictions of his formal clothing – strange things happen to clothes after time if they’re exposed to the fumes of alcohol for too long! (Never understood how cloth is affected in this way, but it does happen.)

Alas, such an exercise was not practical on this occasion: there was no waistband within which to test the fitting of Hippie’s physique.

Indeed, not only was the waistband missing, but the accompanying trouser legs too!

Consulting with Mrs Hippie, advice was offered that involved calling the supermarket and enquiring about whether they noticed if Hippie, on a recent visit to their store, had dropped his trousers in one of their aisles.

Hippie declined to pursue this option ("Hi, did I drop my trousers when I was there recently?") , although Mrs Hippie did pursue such enquiries – to no avail. Enquiries with the dry cleaners were also to no avail, so clearly Hippie’s trousers were dropped somewhere in public, but not in a manner that Hippie was aware of, never mind being a willing participant in.

Well, the trousers have never been recovered, and Hippie is juggling other suits to cope with current demand. Will also be juggling time better to keep this post alive though.

Be happy, Hippie always is.

Hippie

The Thrill, The Excitment, The Speculation, The Fun/Boredom

Whatever happened to those silly adverts about "I'm a Mac, I'm Fun", "I'm a PC, I'm Boring"?

From what Hippie could make out of those ads, both products were computers, and both could be programmed to do as the user desired: be boring; have ugly user-interfaces; compute & present in fancy pictures your grocery spreadsheets; play music or videos; or just look posh or dull on your lap or desk.

But which one did which, or more importantly, which didn't do either?

It's taken a while, but I recall discussing the merits of two operating systems once (with a fan of a white computer over any other). Now we can really compare the two systems against each other, and check what is really fun!

A bit of background first (dull BBC links used, just to balance the boring/fun issues):

three months ago, people were getting warnings about a virus yet to activate its payload (the suspense starts);

rewards offered by a software company (Hollywood scriptwriters employed yet?);

an eye kept on developments (but those out of the loop kept happy with the issue being downplayed);

a schedule available for those that like formality (is that for the fun, or the boring?);

another .com bubble bursts (nothing to see here... move on please);

and then, out of the shadows, the evil perpetrator's hand sneaks back into the scene (could even Hitchcock write such a script, let alone William Dozier narrate so many cliff-hangers?).

Now, honestly, who could find this drawn-out episode dull or boring? Whoever is behind this conficker/downadup/Microsoft Knowledge Base 123456789, they have generated some interest in computer security, and kept those of us comfortable in our security entertained.

While Hippie cannot condone the inappropriate access of naive computer-users systems, if we did all keep our systems maintained (and could trust our operating system not to have any vulnerabilities - what a nirvana), where would the fun be? These hackers are clever: they've kept security experts on their toes; generated large rewards; and now their program is updating with clever, encrypted software - of the kind we're all told we need to use to keep our information safe, that the security people now hope to crack (hopefully not possible, as some people bank - literally - on this security)!

So, where would the fun in computers be if we all just turned them on, played a game of Spacewar!, and then turned off the computer so we could use it for another purpose?

Hippie is all for fun, not boring computers, and Hippie knows just which side of the fence to find that on....

Discolouring maturity

Hippie found two - a whole two - grey hairs today.

Not in the hairbrush either, so Hippie can't blame them on the cleaner.

The offending items were in fact protruding, with the innocence that only two single hairs among thousands can, from the scalp of Hippie!

Hippie took to consult Mrs Hippie about this discovery, only to find Mrs Hippie aware to such things - she had observed such a seismic change to his scalp recently, but avoided giving warning of the same.

Que sara: Hippie has hair, and it often lightens in the Summer months, so he guesses what appears to be grey to be a sign of this awful climate change thing: ice melts in gin; beer gets warm in the garden; Hippie's hair lightens with maturity.

Shopping sprees

Ah, shopping sprees. Don't you just love them? As long as you're making choices, and spending money anyway - following mature people around shops, as they get vocally excited at balls of wool, is not such fun.

Now psychologists believe they have explained the reason for some impulse buys & extravagant shopping: the time of the month - shopping being a way for premenstrual women to deal with negative emotions.

With the greatest respect to Professor Karen Pine though, Hippie* has to question these findings. Of the 153 women studied, almost two-thirds of those in the later stages of the menstrual cycle - that luteal phase - admitted they had bought something on impulse. And many felt remorse later.

But what does that prove? If you studied 153,000 women, almost two-thirds would (or at least if they were honest, or understood the harm of a little white lie) admit to have bought something on impulse - regardless of where in their cycle they are.

Now, let's be clear: Hippie isn't a women-basher, either verbally or physically. In fact he despises such conduct. And of course, while not being able to appreciate first-hand just what the regular cycle must be like, Hippie does empathise as much as any man can.

But ladies, really! It's appreciated that you might display emotions, feel discomfort, shout & scream, or find one or more (Hippie's trying to be polite, and does wish not to be in anyway disparaging) of many other means to express yourself. But impulse shopping? For 10 days in a month?

Check your calendars again, and then check your calculators: there are twice as many days in the month that you have yet to account for!

No doubt you indulge in shopping during these uncomfortable 10 days. But be honest with us all - you indulge in shopping in the other 20-or-so days too!

Hippie's view on all of this shopping though is an all-together different matter: as long as it's not for balls of wool, and perhaps if you take in a local inn to refresh yourself/your partner after a long day shopping, what harm? Enjoy, as what purpose does money serve if you can't have fun spending it?

Hippie hopes any males reading this do try to tolerate the difficult experiences their friends/partners/lovers/associates/enemies are experiencing.

And Hippie hopes any females reading this try to understand that we men can't properly appreciate your experiences, but we (at least some of us, anyway) do aspire to be tolerant, and wish - for your sake - that we could do more to help.

Hippie

*No, that's not really Hippie! Did you really think Hippie would publish his image online? Please go back to the start, and read all entries in this blog again.

Still not dead

Hello,

Hippie has been really busy recently, so no time to keep you in touch with thoughts.

A few court cases coming up, so expect little in the next month or so, but I will make up for it - and if any Hippie thought comes to mind, I'll certainly update.

In fact, that's what brings me here today: bloody busy, and pissed-off with a silly "professional" in a court case we're working on - while we both work on it, but from opposite sides, the court reasonably expects us to behave professionally towards each other. I am, but they are... well... the court can decide that.

I'm confident in that case, and just pissed it's requiring so much time.

Another case is going.... well, nowhere! Or at least for the respondent, the last I heard or saw. I'm the litigant, so if they take no action I'll reluctantly take a default case against them, although a day in court would be interesting.

Hippie is going places though. But that's another story, and not for this blog.

Hippie's business is on Twitter now too, but that won't be linked to this blog (professional standards, you understand I'm sure), so just mentioning in passing.

Anyway, getting back to Hippieisms...

Does Mother Hippie (F***** - anonymity is still assured) still read this? If so, turn off now!

Still here? Bye F***** - you won't be interested in this!

No, honestly F******, you should check the next blog, but go now!

Ok, you got a warning before entering, and more above. So here goes:

what is Pope Pointless XXIX about now? Even Silly-Billy & the wife wants to spend their masses of money helping poor nations - but never on iPods, and I suspect there's probably a ban on the $100 laptop too, as the operating system isn't good.

The real problem the world has is the cost of Durex, and their monolopy in their market.

Banning Durex though is more ridiculous than banning bankers - they either serve, or are, wankers.

These days, Hippie thinks World AIDS Day is often forgotten (it happens on 1 Dec, and is marked with the wearing of a red ribbon). We have colored ribbons for every event now, and inter/national days for just about everything.

Perhaps it's because we think AIDS is cured, controlled, or just not in our community anymore.

Hippie is still here, but a good friend of mine did die from AIDS, and while he had to take a hell of lot of drugs everyday, and couldn't even have ice in the pub's gin & tonic (we often don't realise just how restrictive the controlled condition is), he passed away some years ago now.

I've never appreciated condoms, and particularly could never grasp the idea of using the thick latex that you are often offered freely in gay clubs, but I certainly don't appreciate the idea of AIDS either.

Hippie isn't dead, but there will be many that will be, and ancient lectures & virtues will never solve the problem.

Pope Pontificating XXX will need to appreciate the modern world, and support the control of disease that harms so many - including that disease rape, that may justify a child of nine choosing (or more naturally, having an adult decision taken for them) that they have a right to mature & enjoy the life they were gifted with.

Wow, this got heavy!

Sorry, not intended - I just planned to pontificate about the views of others about condoms. Que sara.

Well, Hippie is good, still madly in love, and still really busy, but with every intention of keeping you up to date with new Hippieism thoughts - for the benefit of F***** (have they got this far? Que sara, sara....), Hippieisms, are explained below, but are succinctly thoughts or views, hopefully often with a slant of humour, but occasionally of a more important stance. Debates/contributions always welcome.

Be good & have fun all (that doesn't require a condom),

Hippie

Grow up, or at least... no, just grow up

Is there no regulation to the Internet? Can we not do anything to protect innocent browsers (as in users browsing)?

 

Mother Hippie recently managed to use an innocuous text string as a web address, and there encountered some CGI porn – can you imagine Lara Croft being... by the man from Street Fighter 2? That was it: a silly CGI gif (an optical moving picture, of about 3 frames in repeat) advert.

 

I suspect Mother Hippie is still trying to bleach her mind of the absolute filth she encountered!

 

Clearly there has to be better safeguards to the Internet.

 

A quick (unrestricted) search online finds a tool called Glubble (“making the internet kid friendly by child proofing the browser” –  apparently via some sort of Firefox Add-On that makes the Internet safer – although with about 350 sites available, it sounds like a minimal Intranet, not the Internet!) for kids, but what about Mother Hippie? There is also Off-limits, which again works on approved sites, not filters. Still not an Internet browser, but some Intranet of kiddie sites.

 

So how do we protect the innocent minds of our silver surfers though? How can we ensure “REVOLTING”, “PORNOGRAPHIC” “vulgar picture -  it's really a sick society we live in” images don’t upload to the screens of mature & still sensitive online users – Glubble (which I’m sure Mother Hippie could easily be convinced is a website with content of the nature above) allows access to such a few sites, and Off-Limits is the same – and again it could be suggested that “off-limits” is presenting something most wouldn’t normally browse for - that their descriptions as browsers seems wrong to Hippie.

 

The world wide web (a phrase fiercely defended as representing a different article from the Internet, but losing favour now – given the choice of www.....com (there was apparently once a group & site for this (www.yes-www.com), but no trace now) or no www (boring, but a site exists to campaign against using the www. prefix – Hippie approves)) and/or the Internet is a big place. Lots of good stuff on there too apparently – even beyond this blog! But all that revolting, pornographic, vulgar porn gets in the way!

 

 

Who is going to do something about that? Well, to start with, you can count on Hippie...

 

...to do sweet fuck all about it, and support no silly social network campaigns that try to rid the Internet of such filth.

 

It’s not the case that Hippieisms promote these things (no sponsored links to porn here), or that Hippie cares to visit these sites (Mrs Hippie is beautiful & sexy; Hippie is more than content), but some people do visit. Every website costs money to host; some sites we like, others we’d be happy to see taken down. But they all get visitors or money to keep them going, so someone among the community cares for them, and porn ads pay for them.

 

Before you got here you would have been warned that the site might contain content only suitable for adults. (Again, Hippie disagrees, but to avoid offence, I ensured the warning is there.) Nonetheless, adults might be offended by this content, and kids may love it. Ergo, why should they be deprived? Hippie expresses himself with a full vocabulary, and occasionally might make innuendoes, albeit little more than modern cartoons – or indeed old cartoons (has no-one ever thought “Yabaa-Dabba-Doo” as the sexy body of a partner is unwrapped from its clothing? Try speaking those words – does a lot to show appreciation).

 

 

Whether you want to view it or not, and whether you want to pay to view it or not (like software, paying seems odd to Hippie: there’s so much freeware available; the same goes for porn –YouPorn.com (this link is not sponsored or endorsed by Hippie – just here as an example) has got a clever policy of offering some free, with some pay-for, shows.

 

The only answer Hippie can conclude is a ghastly one to Hippie: the social networking sites. Not to run a campaign to remove porn (their ads pay for so much hosting, the Internet would shrink dramatically if they were removed), but to get people across the globe to network socially. And in person. In the flesh. Go get some good breakfast together! And to stop worrying about a few adverts that other users are interested in.

 

I’ve searched for Silver Surfer browsers, but only found the nemesis of Spiderman, or some other comic book hero – Hippie knows little of these things.

 

The fact is the Internet is here to stay. Porn was an early tenant, and has an established base. Porn is here to stay too. And with porn, we get an economy that supports so much more of the Internet. And Hippieisms is here to stay too!

 

Start your silver browser campaigns if you want, but Hippie will only consider social networking membership to campaign with the other side.

 

Porn: love it or loath it, it pays bills, hosts websites, can be ignored, and is only really there if you go looking for it.

 

 

Hippie

 

 

 

Postscript: why does a site like Glubble actually include images of children? In some circles, even this is Sacrasanct (Hippie had to search online for the correct spelling of this, but would a kiddie browser help me learn my spelling? I doubt it, but I have no intention of finding out!)! A kid’s browser shows them! Odd...(but then to Hippie so is a kid’s browser). We need a browser for easily-offended-surfers. Or maybe just to have grown up people behave grown up...

 

A further postscript: Hippie did have expectations of mentioning the nonsense with Pirates Bay in this post, but no room - Hippie will get back to you on that one...

 

 

One last postscript: if socities globally aren't careful, 1984 will soon be trying to tell us how much we can relax too. Hope they never get an online forum, sponsored by porn or otherwise. We'd all be on social-networking sites then!

Movie Fever

As the world is currently gripped with interest in movie awards, Hippie thought he should cover the matter too...

Some questions for you to consider:

• why do so many dumb people hunch down to speak into the microphone at award ceremonies? Surely they must realise this isn't necessary, or perhaps should've noticed others managed to be heard without hunching!
• those in the profession like to be called "actors", using this word as not being assigned to a gender. But why then have awards for Best "Actress", with no women ever nominated for Best "Actor"?

Answers on a postcard to the usual address.

What's to worry about?

Stress.

 

What's it about? Don’t you hate it when it envelopes you & commandeers your every thought? Or worse, when it dominates the thoughts & actions of a loved one who is so worried they'd maybe even be short towards you?

 

Ridiculous really, but it can be difficult for the victim so do be considerate & compassionate towards them. They know no better. (Hippieism # 189)

 

If you find you're the victim of stress, the first things to do (although dependent on your tolerance & performance levels, not necessarily in this order) are to engage in some samples of good beer & good sex. (Others should help victims in this aim. Only you can decide how though.)

Now, trusting your more relaxed, grasp the realisation that stress serves no good purpose: it affects your health (and if you're not careful, it could affect your performance too... more so than alcohol – not something you need right now!), and impairs rational or clear thought. So grab a moment, clear your mind, satisfy some more sexual desires (if you have none - due to stress - others still do, so succumb & satisfy their's – it will help you too... trust Hippie), and then we'll tackle this thing head on (that's not a pun, but if you thought otherwise, you're already getting better).

Ok, did you have fun? (If not, go back to the start; don't collect £/$200; but do collect your thoughts... and a beer... and a sexual partner).

Got this far? Cool.

What's the worst that can happen to you now? You've just had good sex, and a good beer. What's still to stress about?

 

Debts mounting? Job not secure? Wife leaving you? Plane crashing? A space on your desk & your days missing W calendars? Don't worry; just think clearly about it all for a moment:

Debts: you're a toxic debt. Britney sung about you, so perhaps royalties are in order. If not, what can the banks really do? Tell them what you can realistically pay, and pay that. Any repayment is good for them, so don't be intimidated by threats. They were silly enough to give you money, so they're at fault too. And if they want to possess the house, tell them the wife has already claimed for it in divorce. Have sex, drink beer, watch the squabbles, and chill – after all, you were losing the house either way!

 

Job worries: clearly not a good job, as they should be able to manage their staff better. Show strength in adversity, and go get a better job before your colleagues realise the threats. Once there, get into management and manage staff levels better too. (Before you leave though, send your colleagues a link to this post.)

Wife leaving you: you got laid before getting to this point, so it's not all bad!

Plane crashing: we know this happens, but pilots are good at managing this issue. But perhaps their equipment is faulty as you're online while in the air. At least Hippieisms is the last thing you'll read - just after your mile high club membership enrolment. Don't forget to leave a comment though. :-) (And be happy: you'll die with your boots on.)

Calendar expired: they're building a whole museum for W, so don't worry about your desk. And if your wife's leaving you, you can put porn back on your desk now. Beer always needs space too.

Rational thought is the answer to stress. But it's not possible while stressed, so never get stressed,

Instead get laid and drunk. 

Stress: a curse for those unable to see the wood for the trees, but a blessing for those able to see bushes & barley in the forest. So says Hippieism # 72