What's to worry about?

Stress.

 

What's it about? Don’t you hate it when it envelopes you & commandeers your every thought? Or worse, when it dominates the thoughts & actions of a loved one who is so worried they'd maybe even be short towards you?

 

Ridiculous really, but it can be difficult for the victim so do be considerate & compassionate towards them. They know no better. (Hippieism # 189)

 

If you find you're the victim of stress, the first things to do (although dependent on your tolerance & performance levels, not necessarily in this order) are to engage in some samples of good beer & good sex. (Others should help victims in this aim. Only you can decide how though.)

Now, trusting your more relaxed, grasp the realisation that stress serves no good purpose: it affects your health (and if you're not careful, it could affect your performance too... more so than alcohol – not something you need right now!), and impairs rational or clear thought. So grab a moment, clear your mind, satisfy some more sexual desires (if you have none - due to stress - others still do, so succumb & satisfy their's – it will help you too... trust Hippie), and then we'll tackle this thing head on (that's not a pun, but if you thought otherwise, you're already getting better).

Ok, did you have fun? (If not, go back to the start; don't collect £/$200; but do collect your thoughts... and a beer... and a sexual partner).

Got this far? Cool.

What's the worst that can happen to you now? You've just had good sex, and a good beer. What's still to stress about?

 

Debts mounting? Job not secure? Wife leaving you? Plane crashing? A space on your desk & your days missing W calendars? Don't worry; just think clearly about it all for a moment:

Debts: you're a toxic debt. Britney sung about you, so perhaps royalties are in order. If not, what can the banks really do? Tell them what you can realistically pay, and pay that. Any repayment is good for them, so don't be intimidated by threats. They were silly enough to give you money, so they're at fault too. And if they want to possess the house, tell them the wife has already claimed for it in divorce. Have sex, drink beer, watch the squabbles, and chill – after all, you were losing the house either way!

 

Job worries: clearly not a good job, as they should be able to manage their staff better. Show strength in adversity, and go get a better job before your colleagues realise the threats. Once there, get into management and manage staff levels better too. (Before you leave though, send your colleagues a link to this post.)

Wife leaving you: you got laid before getting to this point, so it's not all bad!

Plane crashing: we know this happens, but pilots are good at managing this issue. But perhaps their equipment is faulty as you're online while in the air. At least Hippieisms is the last thing you'll read - just after your mile high club membership enrolment. Don't forget to leave a comment though. :-) (And be happy: you'll die with your boots on.)

Calendar expired: they're building a whole museum for W, so don't worry about your desk. And if your wife's leaving you, you can put porn back on your desk now. Beer always needs space too.

Rational thought is the answer to stress. But it's not possible while stressed, so never get stressed,

Instead get laid and drunk. 

Stress: a curse for those unable to see the wood for the trees, but a blessing for those able to see bushes & barley in the forest. So says Hippieism # 72