Well, that time of the year when restraint is required is again upon us – albeit a second late this year.
Personally, I’ve never understood why people whose alcoholic experiences during the year haven’t extended beyond chewing a wine gum suddenly consider they can handle large volumes of cheap booze.
These amateur drunks are most uncouth, making a racket so that all around miss the chimes that lead up to a new year; slobbering over complete strangers, and wishing them a happy new year (as if 2009 could be for many – with the exception of the family due to get a new puppy – or if these strangers really care); expelling the contents of their body where they stand – or have fallen over; and getting into fights, given their lack of decorum, complete lack of drunken etiquette, and inability to handle more than a wine gum.
Hippie’s policy for new years is simple: stay up late on 30th December, get a moderate few drinks in you during the day on 31st December, and fall asleep early at home, avoiding the nonsense of the amateur drunks & the silly pyrotechnics that flash across the globe.
If I sound like a party-pooper, go chew a wine gum: it’s the amateurs that spoil the parties, so I’ll be out on 1st January, enjoying a few sociable drinks, and carefully avoiding the puddles of... well, the amateur’s semi-digested consumptions that they couldn't manage to contain. These fools spoil parties for those who know how to drink & behave with a semblance of decency too. Best thing for 2009 is to ban sales of wine gums, and anything stronger, to these incompetent amateur drunks.
I’ll be back next year – with my conscious clear, dignity maintained, and head feeling fine!
Hippie
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